CITIZEN'S CANE TRACKS DOWN PURSE SNATCHERS

LOWEST OF THE LOW

A CITIZEN'S cane helped cops track down a pair of purse snatchers after she used it to whack their car when they made their getaway.
Cops in New Castle, PA, said the dents left in the car by the 89-year-old woman helped them track down the vehicle and bust the crooks.
Police Chief Thomas Sansone says the 89-year-old and her 82-year-old friend were accosted outside a pizza shop Sunday, by 27-year-old Jerry Brown Jr who grabbed the purse.
But before he could get away the older woman whacked the car's trunk, so when officers found the car with the dents matching the shape of the cane they knew they had their man.    
So they arrested Brown and 21-year-old Tatiana Vargas and jailed them on robbery charges and on warrants for unrelated crimes.

I WASN'T DRIVING, I WAS HAVING SEX: SALEM TRAD

UN-TRAD-ITIONAL

AS novel excuses go, this one was a doozy.
Booze hound Salem Trad, 22, claimed he couldn't have been drunk behind the wheel when his speeding car smashed into a taxi, because he was having sex in the backseat. 
The only trouble for Trad, was that the female passenger testified in court that there definitely hadn't been any backseat coupling, as they returned from his 21st birthday bash.
The third passenger also denied being the driver.
Whatever was happening in that car, it cost Trad $22,000 in court after a Fairfax, VA county court awarded the taxi driver he smashed into, Abdu Omar, substantial damages.

It was substantially less that the $75,000 he'd asked for but he Omar told The Washington Post he was pleased with the jury's decision.
He said: "They helped me with my problem, so I'm happy." 
We'd suggest he try a more Trad-itional excuse next time.  

IDIOT SHOOTS 11-YEAR-OLD FOR PLAYING NEAR HIS CAR

NUT JOB NEIGHBOR

A PSYCHO neighbor blasted an 11-year-old girl for playing on his lawn and near his car, cops say.
Nut job neighbor Charles DuBose, 55, had yelled at the group of kids who were playing on his lawn and bumped his car.
But when they carried on playing to close to his Clevland, OH, home he pulled out his pistol and started blasting, smashing 11-year-old Ivhan'e Merrit in the torso.
Her pal Shamarra Hall, 10, told Fox News: "We started running and then that's when my friend Ivhan`e goes 'I got shot, I got shot,' and we thought she was playing until she fell."

Thankfully Merritt survived after being rushed to the city's MetroHealth Medical Center and she was released Sunday night.

Her mom Aquadea Merritt, said the bullet grazed her daughter's liver.

She added: "Everything else is fine, she's doing fine, she's up walking, talking."

The allegedly trigger-happy Dubose plead not guilty Monday. 

He was being held on $250,000 bond.